| Lord, Change My Circumstances |
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| Written by Rokstar |
| Tuesday, 14 October 2008 21:28 |
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Recently, I noticed how much I have been praying the exact same prayer. " Lord, change my circumstances. Change my life. Make things better." What I am referring to... financial strain, a business that hasn't been getting much business, a house that my family of 6 is officially busting out of, etc. Yes, I have been praying the same prayer for quite some time now, and with faith, too. I have wrestled with God, why, why, why not now?, what am I doing wrong?, what are you trying to show me? I keep trying to find the formula to move God.
After seeing nothing change and sometimes seeing things get worse the stress rises. Financial pressure can bring out our weaknesses better than most things. You can, at times, find yourself in moments of intimidation, humiliation, fear. "God, didn't you promise to provide for me? Can you provide so that I can silence the bill collectors that keep calling?" I sometimes think of myself like the prophets of Baal. I scream, I cry, pull out my hair!!! "God move for me- what do I have to do? I am dying here!" Still, nothing. I started noticing how discouraging I got to be around. My always positive thinking became clouded with negativity. It didn't take much to push me over the edge. I felt forsaken- why aren't you helping me God? It's amazing that in our negative mindset we can only see everything that God isn't doing for us and not the multitudes of things He is actively involved in. It just took a one minute introspection of my stinking attitude to see that the problem wasn't on the other end. Wow, that hit me like a ton of bricks! I am the problem? Let's see... I am in a situation that isn't changing, I am stressed and upset all of the time, I am having doubt and I am exhausted from going through the motions day to day trying to believe, and I am poisoning everyone who comes around me with misery and negativity. The common denominator in all those things is ME! I AM the problem! Sometimes truth is both wonderful and terrible at the same time. My prayer then changed. "Lord, change me. Make me someone that can overcome my circumstances. Make me new. I have tried to deal with my life in my own strength and failed, can I do it now in your strength?" Thank God for His mercy. He did, almost instantly, change me. It was like my eyes had been shut the whole time, and He opened them up, wide. I can't stop laughing because still nothing has changed, except for me. My financial situation is the same, my house is getting wilder by the minute and the business phone is still not ringing. I am physically doing the exact same things I always do, but my spirit is somewhere way up in the air. I understand what it means in 2 Corinthians 12:9, where it says "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." I feel new and I feel excited. I know that at the perfect time God WILL do all that I have asked, but in the meantime He is teaching me to be content whatever my circumstances (Phil. 4:11). |
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